Tag: Self-Love

How To Get Out of Depression Without Medication or Therapy

When all feels lost…

The world disappears.
People feel like shadows.
You no longer recognize yourself.

It becomes nearly impossible to grip onto anything—to hold onto even the smallest thread of hope to escape the dreadful prison that depression traps you in.

You ask yourself:

How can I reclaim myself if everything around me feels threatening and the world keeps closing in?

The world doesn’t wait for you to get better.
People don’t pause their lives to give you time.
And worst of all, you’re left alone with your mind, exhausted from trying.

When “Trying” Isn’t Working Anymore

You’ve tried so hard, for so long.
You’ve pushed, coped, masked, smiled—and now, you’re spent.
You think:

“There isn’t another try left in me.”

But something inside you still aches for answers:

  • Why is this happening to me?
  • Why do I always feel this miserable?
  • Will I feel this way forever?

And then, a new thought:

“This can’t be my life. I can’t stay this way forever. I need to do something… but what?”

The Turning Point: Ask Yourself This

This question is where the shift begins:

How did I get here?

This is the start of the investigation.
You begin mapping out the painful moments that led you to this place.

Ask yourself:

  • What imbalances exist in my life?
  • What emotions am I suppressing out of fear?
  • What am I afraid of?
  • What keeps me up at night?
  • What is the worst thing that could happen?
  • What feelings do I need to get out and to who?

Start Gently Telling Yourself the Truth

For me, I had to accept a very real truth:
That I don’t function like others around me.
That I’m neurodivergent.
That my brain processes the world differently.

And with that came acceptance of other truths:

  • I may forget things in conversation, and that’s okay.
  • I might fumble words or mispronounce them.
  • People might bully or mistreat me—but I have the right to walk away.
  • I don’t need to be perfect to be respected.

The more I understood myself—my limitations, quirks, fears, and strengths—the more I could start protecting and advocating for myself.

Become Your Own Protector

Understanding your own boundaries allows you to become your own advocate—your own wingman or wingwoman.

  • You’ll start having your own back.
  • You’ll begin listening to yourself.
  • You’ll stop denying your pain and minimizing your needs.
  • You’ll speak up (or walk away) when someone mistreats you.

And if you’re not able to speak up yet, that’s okay too. It takes time and practice.

Navigating Trauma Responses

I personally deal with the freeze trauma response. It’s brutal.
My body shuts down. My mind goes blank. I stop breathing.

But here’s what changed for me:

Just learning that this is a trauma response helped.
Now, when it happens, I recognize it. I name it. And slowly, my brain starts to realize there’s another way.

Even when I can’t stop it in the moment, I recover faster.
I remember what I learned.
And next time, I’m more prepared.

Waking Yourself Up Again

Healing doesn’t happen all at once.
But it starts in tiny moments:

  • A flower that seems brighter than usual.
  • The breeze that feels like a soft embrace.
  • The sun warming your skin with gentle peace.

These moments wake you up, one breath at a time.

From here, take baby steps—no leaps, no pressure.
If you rush it, you might retraumatize yourself.
Trust me, I’ve been there. You don’t want that.

How to Ask for Space (Without Guilt)

Here’s something I used to say to loved ones:

“I need space because I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need everything to slow down. I need time to reflect and be with myself. When I’m ready, I’ll reach out. I love you.”

Then I’d turn off all notifications.
No guilt. No shame.

You communicated your need clearly.
Now, take care of you.

Accepting That You’re Flawed—and Beautifully Unique

This part may sound odd, but hear me out:

I started thinking about jigsaw puzzles.

You think you’ve failed because your piece doesn’t fit into the puzzle everyone else is working on.

But what if…

Your piece is perfect—you’re just trying to fit it onto the wrong board.

Your piece has edges formed from hardship.
Some sides are soft. Others are jagged.
Your colors might not match this puzzle—but they’re perfect for your own.

You’re not broken.
You’re not too much.
You just need to be on the board that was made for you.

Start Healing Now—Even If You’re Not “Ready”

You don’t need to wait until you’re 100% healed to begin.
You can be broken and still begin recovery.

Start by:

  • Investigating yourself with curiosity, not shame.
  • Asking what you need.
  • Respecting your boundaries.

You’ve spent your life learning how to care for others.
Now, it’s time to learn how to care for yourself.

Boundaries Are Not Selfish—They’re Sacred

Life would be chaos without boundaries.
And your boundaries?
They are valid. They are necessary. They are yours.

Let yourself feel peace in setting them.

A Final Note: To Anyone Struggling

If your heart feels broken…
If your mind feels like a prison…
Please know this:

  • You are not your pain.
  • You are not a threat to yourself.
  • You are not alone.

You can come back.
You can rebuild.
You can feel alive again.

With love,
Jenna

Your voice matters.

Have you experienced something similar?
Share your story in the comments—someone else might need to hear it too.
Let’s create a space of support, not silence.

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The Girl Hidden Beneath The Layers

I let her down.

I let myself down.

I neglected her.

I silenced her.

I hid her away and refused to let her out.

She’s confused. She doesn’t understand why.

Why can’t I be seen?

What’s so wrong with me?

Why am I not allowed to become?

She wants to speak.

She wants to be free.

I resented the world that made me feel like I had to hide her.

The way she was — it didn’t seem acceptable.

She was emotional. Jumpy. Easily excitable. A little skittish.

Were those really such terrible things?

She was sensitive, empathetic, introverted, and quiet.

These are not threatening traits.

So why was she treated like prey?

I know now — my mind was trying to protect us.

It thought staying small would keep us safe.

It wanted us to be accepted. Approved. Included.

But in doing so, it buried her too deep.

And she grew scared.

Anxious.

Untrusting.

My mind told her she was dangerous.

That letting her out would risk everything.

That she would embarrass us.

And others seemed to agree.

They liked us better quiet. Composed. “Easy.”

The Woman Pushing Through the Layers

But she’s still here.

That frightened little girl beneath the layers — I still feel her.

She’s still a little unsure, but she’s beginning to trust me again.

She’s slowly, carefully stepping into the light.

She’s starting to believe she’s no longer a risk.

That maybe… she’s okay just as she is.

And together, our hearts hurt a little less.

Still, I carry the guilt.

Guilt that I didn’t accept her.

That I believed others wouldn’t either.

Sometimes, it feels like I wasted the first half of my life.

All that time spent hiding.

People-pleasing.

Performing.

Now, I want to make it up to her.

But I can’t go back in time.

And I’m no longer that girl.

I’m a woman now.

And being a woman, I’m not “supposed” to act like a teenager.

So how do I carry both — the girl and the woman — at once?

Where Do We Go From Here?

How do you make peace with the younger version of yourself?

Can we ever truly reclaim the time we lost?

Are we allowed to play, to dream, to be a little wild — even now — just to give her what we once denied?

Maybe we need a new phrase.

Something for those of us who are too old for “YOLO”…

But still crave that same hall pass to let the inner girl shine.

Maybe this is what becoming looks like —

Not erasing the past,

But embracing all the layers of who we were and who we are still becoming.

✨ Have you ever felt like you buried a part of yourself?

✨ What would you say to the younger you, if you could?

❓Is there a new word or phrase we can use instead of YOLO? Something for the middle-aged?

Share with me in the comments or send me a message — I’d love to hear your story.

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Getting Bullied Wearing Wigs

Growing up with alopecia felt like a battle I could never escape.

It was something I tried so desperately to hide — but everyone could tell.

The wigs I wore as a child looked artificial. There was no denying I had one on.

At school, kids teased me. They’d mock the way my hair parted — “Why does your hair grow in a circle like that? Are you wearing a wig?”

All I could manage was a soft “no,” shaking my head.

Because the truth was unbearable.

I couldn’t accept my own diagnosis, let alone let others know.

They’d think I was gross.

They wouldn’t want to be my friend.

They’d hate me.

So, I told myself: My best chance at belonging is if no one ever finds out.

I just wanted to be normal.

I remember one time, a soccer ball was deliberately kicked at my head — an attempt to knock my wig out of place and “prove” their suspicions.

When it happened, I calmly walked to my gym teacher and asked to go to the bathroom. I didn’t look him in the eye — I was too embarrassed. But he knew. He let me go.

I rushed into the stall and fixed my hairline as quickly as I could. Then I walked back into the gym like nothing happened. I didn’t face anyone. I didn’t say a word.

I just kept pretending I was normal. That my hair was real. That I belonged.

There was another time — a cruel game made up at school. The goal was to expose whether the latest rumor about someone was true.

For me, the rumor was that I wore a wig.

The game was this: one person pulled another’s hair until they yelled “ouch!” — the idea being if you didn’t feel it, it must not be real.

I had no choice. I played along. I screamed “ouch!” at what I guessed was the right moment, even though I didn’t feel a thing.

But I knew the truth.

I hadn’t fooled them.

The giggles after the soccer ball, the whispers in the hallway — they knew.

Still, I kept showing up. I kept going to events, hanging out with friends, attending school, doing everything I could to prove that I was “just like everyone else.”

I denied the teasing, denied the questions, prayed someone would change the subject when it came up.

Because if they found out, I would be a freak.

And I just wanted to be accepted. Understood. Liked.

What It Took to Finally Tell Someone

It wasn’t until years later, through therapy, that I started confronting the pain I had pushed down for so long.

Therapy forced me to speak about things I had buried — and in doing so, I started using my voice again.

I became accountable for my own healing.

And healing meant speaking up.

Sometimes that meant having hard conversations with the very people who hurt me.

I found that writing things down helped. There was something therapeutic about putting pen to paper. It gave me clarity — and courage.

When I had to say those words out loud, I read from the page. It kept me grounded. It helped me get through it without freezing up, softening the truth, or losing my train of thought.

Reading from a letter meant I didn’t have to make eye contact. I didn’t have to read their expressions. I just had to get through it — my truth, uninterrupted.

Some people had no words in response but appreciated the honesty.

Others were thankful to understand me better, and respectfully asked for time to process.

That was enough.

Because once I said it — I could breathe again.

And little by little, the things that once triggered me… stopped happening.

And if they did happen again?

I had the right to speak up.

I could say gently, “Hey — that actually hurts me. Can you not do that?”

That’s what healing looks like.

That’s what reclaiming your power feels like.

Learning to Speak Up

Over time, I started saying how I felt more often. I started saying “no” when something didn’t feel right.

I spoke up when I disagreed, voiced my opinions, even chatted with strangers.

And eventually, I found myself sharing about my alopecia — for the first time — with someone new.

It was a hairdresser. I knew they’d figure it out anyway. But instead of hiding, I chose honesty.

What followed blew me away.

They shared stories of other clients with alopecia. They told me about their journeys, what worked for them, how they coped.

I offered my own tips — advice I wish I had known sooner.

And I left the salon inspired. Energized. I imagined another girl hearing those same tips I’d just shared. I imagined her feeling a little more hopeful.

And that’s when it hit me:

My pain, shared honestly, could actually help someone else heal too.

Why I’m Writing This

I still struggle with words.

I still stumble when I speak, still feel guilt for expressing myself.

But this blog has become my safe space.

My outlet.

My voice.

If you’ve read this far — thank you. Truly.

You’ve given me the gift of being heard.

For the recovering hearts,

Jenna

If this story resonates with you or someone you know, I’d love to hear from you. 💌 Drop a comment, share your story, or send a message — let’s create a space where we feel seen. 🫶🏻

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How I’m Learning to Trust Myself Again

Breaking the Pattern

At one point, I was seeing two therapists at the same time — a family therapist and a cognitive behavioural therapist (thankfully covered by insurance). They both gave me different tools for breaking old patterns and reclaiming my sense of self.

The family therapist helped me relearn the basics — the black-and-white of what’s right and what’s wrong. One of the first things she recommended was the book Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine.

That book was a wake-up call.

It showed me:

  • why I was afraid to speak up,
  • why I allowed things to happen without question,
  • why I often felt unsafe in my own body.

It reflected back to me stories that felt eerily familiar — but from someone else’s perspective. It forced me to acknowledge that what I’d experienced was not okay. And that I needed to stop those patterns, just like I would want someone else to stop them for themselves.

Meanwhile, my cognitive behavioural therapist offered me something radically different — permission. Permission to say “fuck it.”

If someone consistently mistreats me, excludes me, or simply doesn’t like me…

I don’t need to try harder.

I don’t need to be nicer.

I don’t owe them my time, energy, or attention.

I just need to be polite. Curious in my hello, kind in my goodbye — and nothing more.

She also introduced me to something called the Challenge It method. When I’m convinced someone thinks I’m strange or unlikable, I ask myself:

What proof do I have?

Do I really know what they think of me? Am I 100% sure? Are they even thinking about me at all?

Most of the time, we’re not hearing people — we’re just hearing our own self-doubt echoing in our minds.

We’re not truly listening. We’re not asking questions. We’re performing, shrinking, scanning ourselves for flaws.

No wonder it’s so hard to connect.

But when you shift your focus outward — when you simply listen — you can breathe again. The pressure lifts. It’s not about you anymore. You can just be.

Of course, those self-critical thoughts will creep in again. They always do.

But the difference is: now I know I don’t have to surrender to them.

I can notice them, acknowledge them — and decide they don’t get to run my life anymore.

The Path to Trusting Yourself

Learning to trust yourself means believing in your ability to handle what life brings — to do something well, and to recognize when something isn’t right.

That kind of trust feels almost impossible when you’ve failed more times than you can count. But the first step isn’t perfect — it’s softening your expectations.

Start by lowering the pressure you put on yourself. Lower the bar for how a situation should turn out. Let go of the idea that you have to perform perfectly in every interaction or moment.

Instead, offer yourself grace.

It’s okay if you stutter.

It’s okay if you mix up your words.

It’s okay if your mind goes blank and you need to pause mid-sentence.

Over time, you can even start letting others in — gently and with humor:

“Oh my gosh, why did I say that? Haha.”

“Oops, I totally butchered that word.”

When your mind freezes — what do you do?

First, know that you can’t force yourself to snap out of it. That freeze is a trauma response. It’s your brain trying to protect you from perceived danger, even if that danger isn’t real in the moment.

Instead, take a breath (if you can). Excuse yourself. Step away — go to the bathroom, get a drink, check your phone. Give yourself the space to reset.

When I learned that it was okay to leave mid-conversation, everything shifted. I began noticing how many people do this — and no one judged them. No one thought they were rude. In fact, I realized people were doing it with me, too. It was just… normal.

The freeze response eases only when you feel safe. So ask yourself: Do I feel good being here?

If the answer is no — you’re allowed to leave. Even if it’s the main event. Even if you feel like you’re letting someone down. Say you feel unwell. Say you need to rest. And go.

I used to force myself to stay until the end — no matter how uncomfortable I felt. My brain would blank out over and over, but I’d keep pushing through. Why? Because I didn’t believe I had a right to leave. I didn’t believe I had a voice, or preferences, or needs. I was in survival mode.

By the end of the night, I’d feel completely drained — emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I’d spiral into shame for having a “broken” brain. I’d go quiet again. Let others take over. I was there, physically — smiling, nodding, playing the part — but inside, I was numb.

It’s a beautiful thing to be generous with your time, to listen deeply, to support others — but not when it costs you your mental health.

You can’t keep betraying yourself in the name of being kind.

Take care of you, first.

Mild discomfort is one thing — and yes, it can be noble. But chronic, self-abandoning discomfort isn’t noble. It’s harm.

You are good. You are kind. And you are allowed to put your needs first.

If anxiety hits, ground yourself.

Look around — name five objects in the room.

Focus on your breath.

Inhale a little deeper. Exhale a little slower.

Most people won’t even notice. And if they do? So what. You’ve probably heard someone take a deep breath while talking, too — it’s human.

Then, when you’re ready, gently shift your attention back to the moment. Acknowledge whatever negative thought popped in — and instead of letting it hijack you, get curious about it.

Where did this thought come from? Why now?

We all have these thoughts. Every one of us. And they don’t go away.

Maybe you feel insecure around someone who seems more confident or accomplished.

Maybe you feel envious of someone who seems to have a happier life.

That doesn’t make you bad — it makes you human.

The key is to understand what’s bothering you.

Ask yourself: Why is this getting to me?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Talk to someone you trust.

Once you start gathering those answers, you can reflect. And when you reflect, you begin to strip those thoughts of their power.

They’ll still show up — sometimes the same ones, over and over — but they won’t hit as hard. You’ll get better at seeing them, naming them, and letting them pass.

Let them move through you, not into you.

Trust doesn’t come from silencing every negative thought.

It comes from knowing you can survive them — and still show up with love, for yourself.

Offer yourself the same acceptance you’d give someone else.

Show yourself the same compassion you’d feel for a friend.

Love yourself — especially when you feel flawed.

With love,

Jenna

💬 Have you struggled with trusting yourself too? I’d love to hear your experience — feel free to share in the comments below. 👇

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Quiet Doesn’t Mean Weak

By Jenna

This one’s hard to write.

Silence is what I know.

It became my default — a coping mechanism in response to mistreatment, unethical behavior, and inappropriate situations.

Silence helped me keep the peace.

It stopped me from hurting anyone — even if that person was hurting me.

I once got bullied in an office environment by a previous employer. The aggression and criticism was obvious — and it wasn’t private. Everyone in the office could see it.

After one particularly brutal encounter, a kind, soft-spoken coworker came up to me and asked, with genuine concern,

“Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”

I wanted to cry.

But even my emotions were always in check.

I didn’t know how to let them out — not safely.

I froze. Completely.

My mind went blank — no thoughts, no words. Just white noise.

Because of my ADHD, I worry that if I do speak up, what comes out might be jumbled, confusing, or emotionally tangled.

I’m terrified I’ll say the wrong thing — or that it’ll come out wrong and I’ll look foolish.

So instead, I say nothing at all.

She noticed my discomfort and gently walked away. I could tell she felt horrible. She wanted to help. But she didn’t know how.

And I didn’t know how to let her.

What I wanted to say was:

Because I’m afraid.

Afraid of what would happen next.

Afraid I’d lose my job.

Afraid that if I release my emotions, they’ll pour out all at once — and I’ll scare someone, or scare myself.

So I stayed silent.

Because if I don’t make noise, no one gets hurt.

At least that’s what I told myself.

How Quiet Can Start

I’m naturally quiet. I’m an introvert.

And for most of my life, I was undiagnosed with ADHD — which only made my communication struggles harder to understand, both for me and those around me.

I started learning to quiet my outer voice — letting others speak for me or interpret what I meant.

I internalized the message that maybe I really did need help speaking for myself.

That maybe I couldn’t trust my own voice.

They seemed to function better, more easily.

So I let them take over.

One moment at a time.

And that began the spiral:

Who I am.

What I can and can’t do.

What my “defects” are.

As a child, you’re often taught to bite your tongue — so you don’t say something you regret.

You’re taught to share only the positive things.

No one wants to hear about pain, sadness, or discomfort.

So you start smiling.

You start nodding.

You start pleasing.

And slowly, quietly…

You disappear.

Quiet is Radical Inner Strength

Some people look at quietness and see weakness.

They assume submission, passivity, fragility.

But what they don’t see — what they’ll never know — is how much radical strength it takes to stay quiet.

To hold it in.

To swallow your words, your rage, your hurt… for the sake of peace.

Quietness can be a form of survival.

It’s a kind of strength that doesn’t always look heroic — but it is.

It’s showing up to a social situation knowing people will speak for you — and letting them. Not because you’re weak, but because it’s the only way to make it through.

It’s keeping a smile on your face when your brain is screaming.

It’s staying polite when your heart is in pain.

It’s radical.

It’s resilience.

One of the books that helped me recognize my own strength is From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett. A quote from her that’s never left me is:

“I’m glad I had anxiety disorder. It was a curse, but it was a blessing as well. It forced me to acquire coping skills that the average person could definitely use, but will probably never be in enough pain to investigate.”

To all my quiet, beautiful, strong souls — I see you.

You are not invisible.

You are not broken.

You are not weak.

Let’s begin to reclaim our voices. One word at a time.

Let’s be heard.

With you always,

Jenna

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What Healing Actually Looks Like

It feels like starting completely over—rebuilding every part of who you are.

The hard truth? You’re changing yourself… for yourself.

And in that process, a darker voice creeps in:

I guess there’s a lot wrong with me.

Why am I so broken?

Why do I have to change so much?

Why does the world make it so hard to be who I am?

But what you have to remember is: you’re not changing because you’re broken.

You’re changing because you deserve better.

You’re healing toward the life you were meant to live.

And with that change comes strength—power, resilience, clarity.

Healing isn’t glamorous. It’s not polished or picture-perfect.

It’s raw. Uncomfortable. Messy.

You’ll feel the pull of old thought patterns trying to reel you back in.

Your inner safety blanket will whisper, “Come back. It’s safer here.”

It wants to protect you—like it always has.

It’s like trying to push your hand through a membrane that stretches but won’t break.

You push harder, and it wraps around you—until you do something more.

Push with truth. Push with purpose.

At first, it feels wrong. Unnatural.

Like you’re becoming someone who isn’t you.

But you are—you’re becoming someone you’ve never been allowed to be.

And when you finally break through that first thick layer, you realize: there’s another one waiting.

Not quite as thick, not quite as loud—but still there.

Each layer teaches you something.

Each one asks for a different kind of strength.

I’m still breaking through membranes of my own.

And I don’t know if there’s an end—

If I’ll ever get to the place where I’m fully free.

Maybe none of us ever do.

Maybe we just keep shedding.

Layer after layer, we become.

For the healing hearts,

— Jenna

If you’re in the middle of your own becoming, breaking through your own layers — I see you. 💭

This path can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be.

If this post spoke to something in you, I’d be honoured if you shared your thoughts in the comments 💬 or sent me a message 📩. Your story matters too — and you never know who it might comfort.

You can also subscribe if you’d like to walk this journey together 🧡.

No noise, no pressure. Just honest words when they’re ready.

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Breathless in Social Anxiety

The Critic

It feels like the person in front of you can see right through you.

Everything you’re trying to hide — they can see.

In that very moment, you’re sure they’ve figured it out:

You’re a fraud.

They’re judging every detail about you — and you’re sure they’re doing it silently.

They’ve already decided they don’t like you.

They’re planning to never talk to you again.

Everyone is against you.

Everyone doesn’t like you.

Everyone wishes you’d go away — and so I did.

What They Don’t Know

Inside, the racing thoughts never stop:

  • I need to change.
  • I need to be better.
  • Why is this so hard for me?
  • Why does it come so easily for everyone else?
  • Why does this make me so nervous?

What Does Anxiety Feel Like?

For me, it feels like I’m not breathing — or like I’ve forgotten how.

My breaths are shallow. Sometimes, the words don’t come out right.

My mouth gets dry.

My hands tremble.

My heart races.

My mind goes blank — mid-conversation — and I forget what we were even talking about.

The response I had practiced disappears the moment I try to speak.

Only when I step away, when my heart slows and my mind clears, can I start to reflect:

Why does this keep happening to me?

The Pattern

This is when I begin to connect the dots.

  • The deer-in-the-headlights expression on their face whenever I tried to speak.
  • The labels put on me that confirmed I was “different.”
  • The constant corrections when I spoke.
  • The hazy mind and poor memory that I couldn’t explain.

Going Down the Dark Path

Once you believe it yourself:

“I’m weird.”

“I’m different.”

“I’m odd.”

“I’m defective.”

It changes the way you see the world — and yourself in it.

You start getting angry at yourself for being the way you are.

You start resenting the world for how it operates.

You avoid social events.

You stay home more often.

You begin to suffer in silence.

This path is dangerous. It can lead to severe mental health struggles.

If you find yourself here — please, reach out for help.

Finding the Other Path

There’s another path — but it’s harder to see when you’ve lived so long believing the lies.

It’s terrifying to put yourself out there again.

To risk being vulnerable.

To risk being misunderstood.

But sometimes, something unlocks the possibility:

A lyric in a song.

A scene from a movie.

A moment of loss.

A breaking point.

And you can see the paths in front of you:

Do you stay in the bubble where it’s safe — where no one can hurt you?

Or do you fight for the life you deserve?

The life where you become something more?

This is the moment your true character reveals itself.

This is where your inner strength is put to the test.

How to Fight Back

For me, healing feels like clawing my way out of my own grave.

You can’t see the surface.

You don’t even know what life will look like once you get there.

You dig. And dig.

And it feels like there’s no progress.

You’re exhausted. You want to give up.

And sometimes, while you’re digging — someone else throws more dirt in your way.

That’s the hardest part.

To keep going while still getting hurt.

But if you can keep going despite the pain — something powerful begins to shift.

You prove to yourself that you’re strong.

You’re resilient.

And slowly… you start to see the progress.

You dig deeper.

You dig harder.

You fear less.

You prepare more.

People around you begin to notice.

You begin to return to your true self.

If you’ve walked a path like mine, leave a comment or hit the like button.

For the healing hearts,

Jenna

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Hair Isn’t Just Hair: Living with Alopecia, Navigating ADHD, and Finding My Identity

Alopecia is a disease—an autoimmune condition where the immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles, treating them as a threat. There are three main types:

  • Alopecia Areata – Patchy baldness on the scalp or other parts of the body
  • Alopecia Totalis – Total baldness of the scalp
  • Alopecia Universalis – Total hair loss across the entire body

I have Alopecia Areata.

It started when I was just three years old — one small bald patch. My parents took me to the doctor, and the advice was simply to wait and see. Thankfully, my hair grew back. Everyone forgot about it… including me.

Eventually, I went on to have thick, beautiful hair — so thick my mom could only twist an elastic twice for a ponytail.

Losing My Hair, Losing My Identity

Then something changed. My grandpa passed away when I was around eight, and it was the first time I truly experienced grief. Shortly after, I started losing hair again — only this time, it was much more noticeable.

Another doctor visit followed. This time, I received a diagnosis: Alopecia. The doctor pointed out “exclamation hairs”—thin at the base, thicker at the tip. They’re a telltale sign that hair loss is progressing.

There’s a gut-wrenching feeling when you step into the shower and watch chunks of hair fall out. Some days are better. Others, worse.

I kept asking: Why me? No one else in my family had this. I was angry. Was this a test? A punishment?

I imagined life as a lottery. Some win health, beauty, and fortune. Others, like me, get dealt invisible pain and visible difference.

I never wanted to complain to anyone else. Instead, I just wished I could pretend I was like everyone else.

Hiding became my shield. However, the wind terrified me most—what if it blew just right and exposed my secret to the world?

Sometimes I’d trace the bald patches with my fingers, as if the shapes could explain why they existed. Strange circles. Mirrored patterns. Like brain scans. Or inkblot tests used to decode your mind.

Eventually, I gave up asking doctors. The treatments failed. Hope drifted further away until it disappeared completely. I surrendered.

But surrender didn’t bring peace. Instead, it felt like paralysis. I had accepted a version of myself I never wanted to be. I was no longer fighting for answers—I was simply surviving without them.

Still, those cards I was dealt led me here. They forced me to find strength I didn’t know existed. I learned what it means to crawl upward from rock bottom.

What Alopecia Took Away From Me

Alopecia took away pieces of my femininity. The intimacy of someone running their fingers through my hair. The simple, sensual feeling of wind in my hair, water rinsing over my scalp. All of those moments were taken from me.

Sometimes, I long for those cinematic gestures. The ones where someone tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Or gently pulls it in a passionate moment. Unless there’s a cure, I may never know what that feels like.

Having someone touch my wig is something I deeply avoid. It’s not what I want them to feel.

Above all, I miss freedom. The freedom of no limitations and no fear. That’s the hardest part.

What It Feels Like to Wear a Wig

Wearing a wig feels like putting on a tight, itchy net. Even the finest lace itches. I try not to think about whose hair it once was. Instead, I pretend it’s mine.

Most days, it feels stifling—too tight, too hot. Sometimes the glue doesn’t hold. Or the style I want isn’t possible. It can feel like a cage I can’t escape.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve wanted to rip it off and throw it across the room in frustration.

But I know I can’t. I know I have to wear it—because it’s the only thing that helps me feel okay in this world.

The Strength I Needed to Live With Alopecia

Denial was my biggest coping strategy. I told myself the wig was my real hair. I told others the same. As a result, I denied myself space, voice, boundaries—even feelings.

It takes radical strength to carry this every day and pretend everything’s fine. You endure silently, without ever expressing the chaos inside.

Over time, I’ve changed. I’ve rebuilt. The girl I was is almost unrecognizable. Looking at old photos, I see the fear in my eyes. The tension in my smile.

Discovering I Also Have ADHD

Therapy helped me uncover more of myself. I wasn’t just living with alopecia—I was also living with undiagnosed ADHD.

There were signs. I would forget what I was saying mid-sentence. I lost things constantly. Focusing became nearly impossible. As a result, I blamed myself and felt defective—like I was broken.

What ADHD Feels Like for Me

Then I found others with ADHD online. I laughed at their reels, watching the humor unfold—and in those moments, I saw pieces of myself reflected back.

For the first time, I realized: maybe I wasn’t broken. Maybe I was simply different. That discovery changed everything.

What I’ve Learned About Being Neurodivergent

Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean you’re less intelligent. It means your brain processes things differently. Some of us learn visually. Others need movement. Neurodivergence works much the same way.

Now, when my brain blanks or I freeze, I have tools. I understand what’s happening—and I know I’m not alone anymore.

The Latest Treatment for Alopecia: Litfulo

There’s no cure yet. However, in 2023, Pfizer released Litfulo, the first FDA-approved treatment for Alopecia Areata. It’s a JAK inhibitor, designed to regulate immune response.

While it’s promising, Litfulo carries serious side effects:

  • Lowered immune function
  • Risk of serious infections
  • Blood clots
  • Elevated liver enzymes
  • Potential long-term cancer risks

After reviewing these risks with my doctor, I’ve chosen to wait. For now, it’s not the right path for me.

This is my personal choice—not medical advice. Please consult your doctor for your own situation.

In the past, I tried creams and injections. They only brought temporary results. I still remember my mom gently applying numbing cream before those appointments. Her love softened the pain.

She was an incredible mother. I’m endlessly grateful for everything she did.

Until there’s a safe cure, we live with hair loss together.

With love,

Jenna

🔗 Learn more about Litfulo on Pfizer’s site

✨ Are you navigating alopecia or ADHD too? Let’s talk about it—drop a comment below or share this post with someone who needs support. We’re in this together.

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🖤 Welcome to Wig Girl Interrupted

Hi, I’m Jenna — and I’m finally ready to stop hiding.

Starting this blog feels both exciting and terrifying. I’ve never done anything like this before — no personal site, no blog posts, nothing that asked me to be this visible. But after everything I’ve been through — from childhood hair loss to years of self-erasure — I know this step matters.

Sometimes the scariest things are the most important.

✨ Why I’m Here

For most of my life, I struggled to understand what was wrong with me.

I lost my hair as a child and spent years covering it with wigs, trying to blend in. I froze in conversations, avoided mirrors, and shrank myself in relationships that fed on my silence.

I was anxious. Confused. Emotionally exhausted. I didn’t have the words to explain what I was feeling — or why I felt like I was constantly fighting myself.

Then at 39, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. That moment didn’t fix everything, but it helped me understand myself for the first time. It explained the chaos, the forgetfulness, the emotional flooding, the years of masking.

But even more than that — it helped me begin coming back to myself.

🕊 What “Wig Girl Interrupted” Means

This blog is my space to speak what was once unspoken — about identity, trauma, healing, and transformation.

The name Wig Girl Interrupted represents the pause I’ve lived in for far too long.

Interrupted by alopecia. By toxic relationships. By silence.

Now, I’m writing my way out of that interruption.

Here, I’ll talk about:

  • Life with alopecia and wigs
  • Living with ADHD (and the shame that comes with it)
  • Healing from emotional abuse
  • Rebuilding identity after years of people-pleasing
  • Finding my voice — even when it shakes

💛 If You’re Here, Thank You

If you’ve ever felt like your brain, body, or heart didn’t work the way they were “supposed” to…

If you’ve lost yourself in a relationship, a diagnosis, or the pressure to be everything for everyone…

If you’ve felt interrupted — by life, grief, shame, or silence — this blog is for you.

I don’t have all the answers. But I promise to be real.

If you’re new here, I recommend you Start Here.

Thank you for being here. I can’t wait to grow together.

With love,

Jenna

🪞 Healing is easier when we don’t do it alone. Pass this along to someone who needs to feel seen.

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